Is it my child or me?

Is it too late for my child’s success? The answer is absolutely No and simultaneously the sooner the better. There are structured steps that you can follow to reach your goal, which is your child’s success.

Before discussing your child, you should know that everything revolves around YOU. You are the primary caregiver for your child. He sees things through you. It’s how you save the world for your kid and how you present the world to him. Your attitude towards learning influences the success of your child in the future.

Firstly Think:

Before the birth of your child, you have to prepare yourself sociologically and psychologically. Another member will join the family. You should be aware of the following:

• The way you learn.
• How to deal with difficult problems inside you
• How to spend quality time together
• How to communicate effectively and by what means

Basically, Flexibility in you has to be present as the child will change over time. You need to learn to say ” I don’t know” and ” I need help” if you are not good enough for a certain issue. This will be reflected in the child’s attitude.

Normally, one of the human needs is to feel a sense of belonging. The child needs to belong otherwise he will be insecure. Love and care are feeling that need to be presented by all people the child interacts with. Listening attentively to his needs is predominant. Here are tips and tricks for this point:

• Establishing a routine in life will assist in what is expected of the child to do
• Discuss the rules with your child. Any rule has two ends and not one, for example, clean the table after eating. The rules need to be short and to the point. You might hang them and  discuss them from time to time 
• Acting the rules yourself will show the child how to act.
• Positive language is used at home to encourage a positive attitude.
• Meal time needs to be like a family gathering
• Taking and keeping a  family photo will open a channel for discussions 

Effective investment

In addition to that Positive life will present by setting hopes and goals in life. It starts with your conversation with your child. Words and actions are supportive elements to him. Therefore, The word “work” needs to be presented in daily life activities.  Generally, work is set in procedures and a frame of time. This word clears the mind of how to accomplish his hopes. Of course, this is done gradually and by practicing even in the simplest form like making a cake. You, as a parent, need to share your goals clearly by saying “ My goal is….. and I will work …….”.

In the Handbook of Positive Psychology, Martin E. P. Seligman wrote, “We have discovered that there are human strengths that act as buffers against mental illness.” Hope is one of them.

Learning and safety zones do not come together. Risk needs to be taken to learn. With risks, you will find mistakes. You need to accept the mistakes and lead your child to go on practicing and finding the solution. It is very tricky when it comes to challenges. The human mind adores challenges but not so much of them that it becomes a threat. Dealing with daily challenges is an exercise for the mind on how to act.

These exercises develop the child’s cognitive skills. Rushing and running to assist the child is not the solution but helping the child in learning the skills of coping is the solution. You might guide the child by chunking up the challenge or discussing the issue by giving different approaches to the solution or eliciting the solution from the child. All this depends on the cognitive skill of the child, how he feels at that moment, and the situation itself. This prepares the child for life.

Need to do

When the child succeeds in any task, you send a positive message to him. This message might be a tap on the shoulder or focus on his eyes and smile or a positive description of his effort, for example, you used three different colors that made the picture possible.  

In addition, the child is encouraged to express his thoughts and feelings. Children are considered individuals and not followers. The child needs to follow his interests and not copy you. Children with a strong sense of who they are, often resilient and have more confidence.

“Children are human beings to whom respect is due superior to us by reason of their innocence and of the greater possibilities of their future “

Sahar Radwan – Montessori Directress